“All exploitive art should look like it’s been knocked up at 5am by some wasted bum who once had talent but is now seriously on the slide.”



My 16 year old cousin in Alabama is forever sending me photos of herself in the hopes that eventually I’ll paint her and make her famous. I always say the same thing -“Traci, these pictures are really inappropriate, what would your mom say if she knew you were sending me stuff like this?” Then I go and tuck the photos away in my Snopake Polyfile Deluxe ring binder with top loading ‘easy wipe’ sleeve protectors and promise to send them all back to her. When I’m dead.

OK, that’s all a big fib. I don’t really have a 16 year old cousin in Alabama. This is in fact my wife’s kid sister, Chelsea, frolicking in Frinton.All right that’s a lie too. I’ve got no idea who this girl is, but dam,’ she’s sexy; so buy her!