“All exploitive art should look like it’s been knocked up at 5am by some wasted bum who once had talent but is now seriously on the slide.”

Van Helsing Vampires


Yep, it’s those Van Helsing vampire chicks Marishka, Verona and Aleera; the sole saving grace in a goddawful CGI ridden bloated blockbuster where hardly anything looked real. Of course, I’m so anti CGI that I ripped The Woman In Black out of my player and binned it just because some digital mist rolled in!