“All exploitive art should look like it’s been knocked up at 5am by some wasted bum who once had talent but is now seriously on the slide.”

Suzi Goes To Scarborough


Regular readers of my Dark Side column (Yves from Belgium, Paul Yates and some woman in Frinton) will know that Suzi never has much luck on her day trips to Britain’s seaside resorts. Last year she was attacked by giant crabs in Frinton, a mutant octopus in Bridlington, pterodactles in Skegness, giant leeches in Cleethorpes and Humanoids From The Deep in Margate. Now here she is starting off the new year in Scarborough, trying to retrieve her bikini top which mysteriously pinged off into the sea, when what should appear but Mega Shark. Honestly, what’s the odds!!??