“All exploitive art should look like it’s been knocked up at 5am by some wasted bum who once had talent but is now seriously on the slide.”

Suzi Goes To Mars


“Aargh! Uncle Rick, get this thing off my flipping bum!”
Rick looks up and can’t believe his luck, for the big poster job this month is Fuzzbucket Pictures release of Alien Ass Huggers From Mars! Quickly whipping out his Travelling Illustrator Fanny Pack, Rick selects a long handled No 4 Split Beaver filbert and hastily squirts out a diverse palette.
“Blinking flip, Uncle Rick!” squeals Suzi “I really think you should yank this thing off!”
“Don’t panic, Suzi” reassures Rick “you’ll be perfectly OK as long as he doesn’t stick his proboscis in your……”
Yep, it’s time for another ‘Suzi Goes To…’ article and this painting will accompany it in issue 199 of The Dark Side magazine. The facehugger was suggested by George Hathaway who resides at the Catheter Flats retirement home along with Steve Spears who I interviewed for my Horror Of Party Beach piece. George tells me that he absolutely pissed himself when he read my article in 2015 and according to Nurse Phist (who has the delightful job of changing George’s sheets) he hasn’t stopped since.