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Suzi Goes To Cromer


HELP!!! One of you guys asked for Suzi to tackle the Monster Of Piedras Blancas and even though I print off and carefully Blu Tac all your suggestions up in my exquisite garden studio (shed) this one has fallen off, got blown out the door and made away on it’s toes. Obviously without a name I’ve got nobody to insult so if you’re the chap that suggested this goddawful movie please get in contact with me!Following hot on the heels of gerbilphiliac Sam Riley (who recommended RATS: Night Of Terror and, you’ll be pleased to know, had that ferret successfully removed) comes another shite movie monster suggestion from Britain’s most unconvincing transvestite, Robert Large. Robert has been a big fan of The Monster That Challenged The World ever since he first watched it on TV (no pun intended) with his wife 10 years ago. ‘Boy’ gushed Robert ‘this movie really put the willies up me! When that giant slug first rose from the ocean I nearly pooped my pink frilly Aubade A L’Amour crotchless panties! Oh my God, I squealed so loud and my wife just had to look away. Mind you, she always looks away on Krystle Carrington days. She says the shoulder pads look ridiculous on me which really hurts, especially as I never wear shoulder pads. Anyway, enough of that jealous Primart wearing cow; if you paint my suggestion it’ll really twirl my tassels!
Robert ‘Hot Lips’ Large

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