“All exploitive art should look like it’s been knocked up at 5am by some wasted bum who once had talent but is now seriously on the slide.”

Suzi Goes To Clacton

£30.00

The toughest part of my ‘Suzi Goes To…’ series isn’t doing the paintings; it’s writing the darn articles that accompany ’em. I wrote in my book that I had to end the franchise because I was running out of ways to get my 18 year old niece out of her clothes each month (which doesn’t sound twisted at all!).
However, it turned out that Suzi had a bigger fan base than I imagined (certainly bigger than mine!) so she’s now in The Dark Side to stay. Mind you, not everyone’s happy about that. Some readers (the normal ones!) think she brings down the tone of the magazine and my wife hates her because she thinks Suzi’s adventures make me look like a colossal pervert. She’s right of course; they do, but then again I am, so what the hell!