“All exploitive art should look like it’s been knocked up at 5am by some wasted bum who once had talent but is now seriously on the slide.”

Suzi Does The Howling

£30.00

“Hi guys, Suzi here! I hope you’re all staying safe in these worrying times. As you can see, I’m in a bit of a hairy situation myself but it’s not as bad as it looks so I better explain what’s going on before people start calling Uncle Rick ‘Miss Oji Nistic’. Personally I can’t see why anyone would call him ‘Miss’ anything; you could stick him in a £5,000 Gucci gown and he’d still be the least convincing cross-dresser since J. Edgar stuck a frock on his Hoover!

Anyway, as you know, I have everyone eating out of my lap down here at Dark Side Towers and it’s only the chaps I work with who suffer any abuse, mostly at the hands of Nurse Phist! On occasion though, some of the monsters get a little cranky and that’s what happened here. I just happened to mention that Miley Cyrus sang about as good as Hulk Hogan acted and it set ol’ Wolfie off on one. Yep, my dress being ripped off is totally unnecessary but what can I say? The only reason I came into existence is because Brycie wouldn’t let Uncle Rick paint boobies on his Dark Side covers and the big ol’ perv has to get them into the magazine somewhere!

Oh, before I go, Scream Along With Suzi is now down to the last 47 copies. As you know, Uncle Rick never reprints his books (mostly because he can’t believe anyone actually bought them in the first place!) so if you want one grab it soon!

Huge Smackeroonie’s To You All,

Suzi”