“All exploitive art should look like it’s been knocked up at 5am by some wasted bum who once had talent but is now seriously on the slide.”

Suzi Does The Cyclops

£30.00

Yep, back to the smut! I probably enjoy painting these Suzi pieces more than anything else; not because I’m a huge pervert (although of course, I am!) but because they’re the most challenging ones to do. Suzi must have ‘done’ around eighty ‘B’ movie monsters by now and every single picture required several thumbnails before I nailed the right scenario. Portraits are tough too, but with them I’m competing against guys who are merrily cloning photos in Photoshop and passing them off as paintings. Of course, they don’t have an original piece of artwork to sell but the perfect likenesses they produce can make some of mine look decidedly dodgy!

‘Suzi’s’ on the other hand require a bit more imagination (or at least a twisted imagination!) and she just can’t be swiped off Google images so I’ve pretty much got this niche to myself. Then again, I might have this niche to myself because all my peers have much higher standards! Hopefully though, your standards are as low as mine and you simply can’t wait to cheapen your wall by hanging Suzi’s stupendous bare butt on it!