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Suzi Does Creature Black Lagoon


Hi Chums, Suzi here; hope you’re all staying sane locked down 24/7 with your loved ones! As you can see, it’s peeing down at Dark Side Towers which doesn’t help our moods especially as we’ve been lumbered with each other for five weeks straight now. Our top writer, John Martin, has been even grumpier than usual but that’s probably because he suffers from cranky balls (irritable bowells: Rick).

Anyway, let’s talk about my latest painting. Uncle Rick said last week that he’d never paint the Creature From The Black Lagoon again because he was such a pain in the bum to do. Well, I wasn’t having any of that and soon put him right. “Hey” I said “I’m not going to beat about my bush here; Mr Lagoon is one of my best friends and if you don’t paint him for my next book (Suzi Screams Again) then you can just go find some other floosie to star in it, maybe that Thai tart from Fuzz Bucket Pictures, Sum Ho.

Oh, before I go, there’s only 39 copies of Scream Along With Suzi left (yes, people actually bought it!!!). Assuming there’s still 39 perverts left out there, these could well be gone in the next few weeks. Then again, Uncle Rick might still be trying to flog ’em this time next year!