“All exploitive art should look like it’s been knocked up at 5am by some wasted bum who once had talent but is now seriously on the slide.”

Sarah Michelle Gellar

£30.00

My youngest son once dated a dead ringer for Sarah Michelle but dumped her because she was “too dirty” !!!! Both myself and his mum were stunned although we had to admit that any girl who turns up to meet her boyfriend’s parents with ‘juicy’ written across her arse might not be as pure as the driven snow. Five years on (and being a total perv) I had to ask my boy what she did that was so dirty “It’s what she didn’t do” he huffed “she never took a bath and her feet stunk!” I’ve got to admire his sense ofhygiene but frankly she could have rolled through dog poop and I still wouldn’t have dumped her!