“All exploitive art should look like it’s been knocked up at 5am by some wasted bum who once had talent but is now seriously on the slide.”

Robert Englund


I spent the week-end working on this Robert Englund painting and despite the fact that I’ve got a blinding toothache the picture didn’t turn out too bad at all. I rang my dentist, Eddie Chan, first thing this morning but the %^&*£$” is on holiday so I’m still suffering as I write this. Well, I just hope he’s having a frikking good time while I’m sitting here stinking of clove oil and sobbing into my laptop. I’m lying of course; what I really hope is that he’s scoffed a dodgy kebab and is doubled up in his room with the squirts or at the very least been violated by a sex crazed Humanoid From The Deep. Nothing too serious of course, just a quick ‘wham, bam, thankyou Chan’ sort of violation!