“All exploitive art should look like it’s been knocked up at 5am by some wasted bum who once had talent but is now seriously on the slide.”

Rainy Afternoon


I’ve finally given in and agreed to do a dozen huge paintings for an exhibition in about six months. The positive part of doing this show is that I’ll make more money than selling my art on Ebay (I’ll make more money at McDonald’s than selling my art on Ebay!) but the negative part is that I’m a lazy sod who likes to paint smaller pieces because it means I can sit on my fat bottom all day. Now I’ve got to stay on my feet in order to reach every bit of these humongous canvasses and I don’t mind telling you, I’m a bit cranky about it. Why ‘Rainy Afternoon’? Because it was p*ssing down while I painted it!