“All exploitive art should look like it’s been knocked up at 5am by some wasted bum who once had talent but is now seriously on the slide.”

Near Dark

£30.00

Considering that Near Dark is possibly the greatest vampire film ever made it’s inexcusable that I’ve only just got around to painting it. Looks like some strict discipline might be in order!!! Still, while I sit here envisioning Pixie Lott popping round and dishing out a well deserved spanking I might as well wax lyrical on this fantastic piece. This sucker took ages. We’ve got a heatwave going on and my garden studio gets like a greenhouse in the summer (hardly surprising; it is a bloody greenhouse!) so that’s probably slowed me up a bit. Then again, chugging back a gallon of cold beer and passing out in my palette for six hours at a time might have eaten up some time too. Right, enough of me waffling on; there’s someone at the door. Pixie Lott perhaps?