“All exploitive art should look like it’s been knocked up at 5am by some wasted bum who once had talent but is now seriously on the slide.”

Jason Vorhees


I’m often asked to paint Jason Vorhees but I invariably pass because rendering a hockey mask is nowhere near as rewarding as working on a proper portrait. Lately though, my commercial jobs centre around some really dull characters so doing hockey masks is a real treat. Things started looking up when the Dark Side decided to run a feature on Lifeforce because then I’d be let loose on the lipsmackingly scrumptious Matilda May. However, I apparently can’t be trusted to turn in something that Barnes and Noble won’t find offensive so theyve scrapped that and now, instead of immersing myself in perky breasted delirium, I’m doing bloody Kolchak instead.