“All exploitive art should look like it’s been knocked up at 5am by some wasted bum who once had talent but is now seriously on the slide.”

Famke Janssen


I always think ‘Famke Janssen’ sounds like something you’d buy to unblock your drains but she’s certainly hot. House On Haunted Hill on the other hand certainly isn’t. Director William (Hey, I’ve got a huge CGI budget and I’m gonna use every dam’ penny of it!!) Malone really mucked up but let’s be honest, the original Vincent Price film sucked too. Still, I better shut up becauseThe DarkSide is paying me good money to make this movie look worth reading about and I need every gig I can get!