“All exploitive art should look like it’s been knocked up at 5am by some wasted bum who once had talent but is now seriously on the slide.”

Brinke Stevens


“It shoulda been ME!” howls bridesmaid Brinke before screeching up the steps and taking out the bride with her flashing blade!
This painting is dedicated to all you guys who, like me, have stood tediously sweating into your underwear whilst two delusional chumps tie the knot. Oh, how we prayed some homicidal maniac would turn up and put us all out of our misery. This one has been done straight from the heart because I’ve paid for several predictably doomed weddings, including one of my own, which is why I now drive a Citroen Belingo van instead of the Range Rover Sport I always wanted!