“All exploitive art should look like it’s been knocked up at 5am by some wasted bum who once had talent but is now seriously on the slide.”

Attack Of The 50 ft Woman


This one was originally going to be done tastefully due to a dearth of nude images of 50ft Woman star, Allison Hayes. But then, when my wife’s best friend, Connie Lingus, offered to pose for it I thought “What the hell, Allison Hayes popped her clogs years ago, who’s gonna sue me?” And even if someone did, would they really tie themselves up in court when my most valuable possessions are a knackered old Belingo van and a signed abusive letter from British Horror Channel hostess Emily Booth? I think not.
However, just in case, start snapping up prints of Miss Lingus because I haven’t got a cat in hell’s chance of getting legal aid!