I’ve met a fair few of the actresses featured here and I’ve got nothing nasty to say about any of them even though one or two threatened to sue the arse off me!

Of them all I’d say Linda Blair was the nicest. This head spinning, crucifix humping, priest squishing icon had a reputation for pulling the heads off of convention administrators and barfing pea soup down their necks but she is in fact a genuine gal who works tirelessly to fund her stray dog’s home. Great tits too!

Emily Booth’s fantastic as well and she took the time to send me a really complimentary email praising a portrait I’d done of her. Unfortunately I emailed her back a little too enthusiastically and she misread the line “I thought you were great in Evil Aliens” as “I want to lick mango and banana flavoured guacamole off your quivering thighs”. Oh well, I suppose I can live with the restraining order although the ankle bracelet is a pain because if I drive anywhere near Sussex it blows my foot off.

Nevermind, there’s still Caroline Munro in Windsor. Now, where’s that box of biscuits and my binoculars!

I’d like to use this bit of space to wax lyrical about my excellent prints! All Stunningly Savage prints are created on a ruinously expensive professional fine art printer using 300 gsm Super Heavy Satin Paper. Naturally all my prints are sent out signed and numbered by myself and there are no extra postal charges on multiple orders. These really are beautiful prints scanned directly from the original artworks and I promise you that it’s impossible to buy better quality reproductions of my twisted images anywhere else on the planet!