“All exploitive art should look like it’s been knocked up at 5am by some wasted bum who once had talent but is now seriously on the slide.”
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Want to know more about Rick Melton then read on...

Although only a few years off collecting his free bus pass Rick Melton is still a lashing, smashing hunk of rippling manmeat;  a steaming great love god if you will. 


At least he likes to think he is.


Sadly his career as a porn star fizzled out before it began, as did his equipment, and as he limped off the set to change his shorts only 15 seconds after walking on, Rick decided to become an artist.


Rick's impact on the world of art cannot be over stated and after a mere 30 years at the easle one of his painting's flew out.


Sort of.


It transpired that one of the big nobs who was visiting the gallery complained about the slippery Izal toilet paper so the owner handed him Rick's ESKIMO GIRL WITH TWO BEARS  and wished him a really good wipe. Rick's luck was in, for that big nob was none other than Dark Side magazine editor Allan Bryce......


To be continued........



 

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Rick Melton relaxing at his elegant Maldives beach home which was given to him by a grateful Arrow Video.  The two skanky huts in the background belonged to competitors Graham Humphreys and Tom 'The Dude' Hodge but sadly both artists suffered severe injuries and had to be airlifted off the island after failing to check their steps for lard.
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